How can I write better action in a screenplay?

by Matt Misetich (General Manager)
January, 2010

Sounds easy enough—write what’s happening in the script.  However, it’s not exactly as simple as it seems, especially to first-time writers.

Penning action is, in some ways, just as integral as dialogue and story elements.  Though it falls under presentation, possessing above average writing skills and the ability to truly lure in the reader through your storytelling abilities may be the determining factor in whether or not a) your script gets read, b) the producer decides to hire you for other writing projects, and c) your professionalism as a screenwriter.  The screenplay might be fantastic, but if the narrative is sub-par, there’s a chance the reader, possibly a potential investor or producer, will overlook the greatness that is your premise and instead look upon you as another inexperienced writer.

A couple tips (of many) to consider:

1.  Keep action short, but not too short.  In other words, no one wants to read huge paragraphs of description, but too little description won’t paint a vivid picture of the scene.  Focus only on the necessary details.  Maybe a sentence or two to set up the scene, and then dive right into the main action.  Also, to help avoid talking heads conversations, use lines of action to break up dialogue throughout.  But again, be certain the action makes sense for a given moment.

2. Don’t get too fancy with descriptions, and never, ever tell us what a character is feeling, or their backstory.  Too often, novice writers will reveal exposition in the action line that we are not able to see on-screen.  Keep it visual!

3. Avoid repetition and “dull phrases” through paragraph consolidation.  The following sentence: “Joel walks quickly to the harbor.  He boards the boat.  The captain looks at him strangely.  He returns the stare.  They shake hands.  They don’t really know one another.”  Can be changed to: “He hurries to the harbor, quickly boarding the boat.  The captain and Joel trade a curious glare.  They shake hands--but clearly they don’t know each other.”

Does action in a script need be the stuff of Hemingway and Frost?  No.  After all, no one’s necessarily publishing the script, so the action merely serves as a blueprint, like the rest of the screenplay.  But do give greater attention to the action itself in terms of style, description, and succinctness.

Sounds easy enough—write what’s happening in the script.  However, it’s not exactly as simple as it seems, especially to first-time writers.